So.. this blog is NOTHING about being an admin. It’s just about being human……..

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Hundreds and thousands of tweets, posts and commentary on the tragedy in Newtown, CT.

The horror strikes at the heart and the most understandable reaction is to retreat..

What happens when something horrible happens? When something goes to such a dark space–  we can’t even begin to cope.

I call it the bounceback issue.  I’m not a psychiatrist or social worker or any kind of doctor.  I’m just a human being that’s dealt with my own fair share of trauma, which next to most things we’ve seen in around the globe in the last twenty years.. seems fairly petty.  To me it isn’t.  I lived it. I survived it.  but not initially….

Initially I drowned it. I drowned it in anything that would keep me from feeling anything..  Busywork. Travel. Food. Alcohol. Drama….. then I grew up a tiny bit.. when one day I came to the obvious realization that I wasn’t the only person in the world that had ever had anything awful happen to them.  I began to be able to empathize with others going through their own personal struggles. I learned to recognize that I had come through some pretty challenging situations.. and was doing just fine.

I heard this great speaker once, and he was talking about his very impoverished and trying childhood.  How awful his Dad was. With a belt. Still he said, (to paraphrase)’ it didn’t matter (to me) if he was a good dad or a bad dad.. He was MY dad.’ We hold onto what we do have, no?

Resiliency is a trait that is a big deal to Americans. We love to talk about how we bounceback from horrific events.. it’s almost a weird badge of honor.

What I know from my own personal experience, is the worry that one day…. my bounceback won’t bounceback.  That optimism and faith I own, will have drained out the tank and there will be none left to find. This is how I feel when I learn in the media of another shooting, another murder-suicide, another natural disaster. So, my prescription is to retreat.  No more news watching. Period. ( I did this for a majority of time 3 mos after 9/11.)

Retreat. Pray. Meditate. Put things that matter to me in perspective. Ask what can I do about all this?

I can be kinder. More patient. Ask for forgiveness. Offer others forgiveness. Remember that I am most certainly NOT the only person that has lost a loved one, dealt with heartbreak, lost all material possessions, been stung by disbelief and disheartenment.

Tonight I sit at home.  With a gratitude list that is enormous…. and enormous sadness that scares me.  I will fight through the fear. I will lean on my gratitude list and the people that love me. I will count on my ‘bounceback’ eventually stopping by…

I recently spoke to a group of peers at a leadership forum.  It dawned on me about 20 minutes into the presentation — (about how long it took me to get to the point…) that experience in our career field is important because it gives us the benefit of a different perspective.

I shared the example of  when you try to give someone directions to a place you’ve driven to a million times, but you can’t remember the street names because you don’t think about it any more.  It’s the same issue when working with a new employee coming into the workforce. Some administrative professionals have been with their company for more than 20 years. They don’t think about how to do something anymore.. they just do it!   So here are a few suggestions I hope will help some of the more veteran admins, like myself, ease our new coworkers into the workforce.

1. Patience.  Don’t I know how hard this is.  Things that are completely second nature to admins- like shipping a fedex envelope- are not so simple to someone that has never done it. Either walk them through it or add it to your procedures binder.
2. Let them know you are going to be available for questions. This allows new admins to not hold the burden of feeling like they are supposed to have all the answers.
3. Be Respectful. Rookie employee ≠useless human being.
4. If you’re feeling particularly generous, give them some background (not gossip) on the nature of the work. An example would be if you know that two weeks before the company’s annual conference that the phones begin to ring incessantly, you just might want to give them the heads up.
5. Tools. If you have a tool that you utilize, Evernote® or OneNote® or a legal pad list– offer it as a suggested way to keep track of all the information that is coming at them the first 3 months. Some companies have amazing orientations for their new staff but I suspect the majority of new staff orientations are too vague and generalized. Help a newbie out.
6. Do you leave the newbie hanging in a bad spot or give them a clue.. Again, YOU know it is a bad idea to heat up smelly food in the office microwave– they may not. They could’ve been heating up blue cheese crumbles in the microwave in their college dorm for all you know. Yes, someone should pull this lovely person aside and let them know the unspoken rules of office etiquette. (This topic warrants its own blog…)

I had forgotten how I came to learn so many undocumented expectations in the workplace and in my field– but  I realize now (duh!) that I’ve learned most of it from my good and bad experiences over my career. That, my friend, is a valuable piece of information for me to remember.