A funny thing (not really) happened this week.
I fell ill. Nothing serious. Just a bad sinus thing-y and an unseemly need for sleep. What was funny about it? Well, my husband of almost 22 years came down with it, too. In the time we’ve been married, my husband has probably missed a total of five days of work, maybe ten.
But, we both caved to the illness and took to bed separately because our snoring was horrendous! Normally both of us would have pushed through, gone to work, and been fairly useless to those around us. Teleworking is not supported in our respective employers. My company allows it in winter when the weather is nasty and no one can get on the road to work. But, I digress.
Being home ill forced me to rest, which led to getting a clearer head, which lead to a recognition that I’d been in a funk for more than just the time that I’ve been sick. It’s been months. I’m sure my friends noticed. I’m sure my coworkers noticed. No one said a thing. I guess they figured I’d work my way out of it. *Sigh*
So, it’s time to start back at where I am. For me, acceptance is the key to everything. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Just means I acknowledge it.
You see, I had been blaming work, blaming my weight, blaming the weather.. (fill in the blank here)when in reality, it was just the same old melatonin/seratonin struggles in my physical body impacting my ability to give a rat’s ass.
So today here’s where I am. Sitting across the dining room table from my sick hubby, with a box of tissues between us and mugs of hot tea. I will continue to rest and let my physical body recover. I will meditate and write to help my mental well-being recover. It’s strange when the fog lifts from a depressive episode. It’s like, wow! where the hell have I been? I certainly don’t know. I just know I wasn’t here.
It’s time to start from where I am, again…and that’s okay.